500 Dates: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the Online Dating Wars by Mark Miller

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500 Dates: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the Online Dating Wars

'“Mark is a very good friend and brilliant writer. He is like a brother to me. At first, I wrote that he is like a sister to me, but he seemed upset by that, so I revised it.” —Kevin Nealon, cast member of Saturday Night Live and Weeds   “Mark and I used to perform our stand-up acts at the same L.A. comedy clubs. He’d always tell me, ‘Michael, one day you'll be starring in a major, respected TV comedy show.’ And I’d always tell him, ‘Mark, one day you'’ll write a book about 500 women turning you down.’” —Michael Richards, cast member (Kramer) of Seinfeld   “I’ve appeared on hundreds of shows without making it big. Mark has dated hundreds of women without finding his soul mate. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one with elusive dreams. Plus, I laughed a lot while reading his book—much like his women must have reacted when he brought up the subject of a second date. Your pain is our entertainment, Mark.” —Fred Stoller, actor, comedian, and author of Maybe We'll Have You Back: The Life of a Perennial TV Guest Star   “This is the book I would have written—if I had the stomach to date 500 guys and then reveal all about those experiences. Kudos, Mark, and thanks for saving me the trouble!” —Annabelle Gurwitch, New York Times–bestselling author of I See You Made an Effort: Compliments, Indignities, and Survival Stories from the Edge of 50   “Mark Miller’s essays made me jealous that I’m happily married and not dating. Not because I could get laid a lot, but because I’d be writing funny essays like these.” —Joel Stein, Time columnist   “If there’s only one single book everyone should read about dating, this isn’t it. But this one is laugh out loud funny. I laughed my Yak-off!” —Yakov Smirnoff, comedian and professor of psychology at Missouri State University   “Mark Miller was always funny, way back when we were writing for the great Jimmie Walker, and has continued to be. Now in the world of online dating he has done it again! I’m sick of him being the funny one!” —Louie Anderson, comedian, actor, author, and Family Feud TV host   “I’ve dated hundreds of frogs. And none of them was Mark Miller. He’s not only a Prince—but a hilarious one at that. His book is a fun-filled bible of dating disasters, sure to make you laugh.” —Marilyn Anderson, Dating, Flirting and Kissing Coach on TV’s Extreme Makeover and author of Never Kiss a Frog: A Girl's Guide to Creatures from the DatingSwamp   “Any guy who’s had 500 dates must know what he’s talking about—or be in need of serious psychological care. Either way, you’ll enjoy Mark’s very funny and insightful book." —Robert S. Levinson, bestselling author of The Evil Deeds We Do and Finders, Keepers, Losers, Weepers   “I use humor to teach you how to speak successfully. Mark uses humor to teach you how to date successfully. Between the two of us, you can have a pretty humorous, romantic, outspoken life!” —Judy Carter, motivational humorist, communications expert, and bestselling author of The Comedy Bible and The Message of You   “As a publicist, I’ve represented hundreds of major celebrities. Mark Miller has dated hundreds of women. Perhaps we should combine our talents and start a dating service for celebrities. Until then, enjoy his very funny book about the highs and lows of romance, specifically his, in the 21st century.” —Michael Levine, acclaimed Hollywood publicist, bestselling author, and motivational speaker   “Bravo, Mark Miller, for not giving up on love. 500 dates later and he still has the cock-eyed optimism of a hormone-infused teenager!” —Marla Martenson, professional matchmaker, certified life and dating coach, and author of Hearts on the Line   “Some guys are funny on stage, some are funny on the page. Mark Miller is that rare breed who’s funny on both. Why he’s not making out like a bandit on the dating scene is beyond me—but thank God he’s not or we wouldn’t have this very entertaining account of what’s going on out there!” —Robert Masello, author of What Do Men Want from Women?, Robert’s Rules of Writing, and The Romanov Cross, and former columnist for Glamour, Cosmopolitan, and Elle   “I enjoy Mark Miller’s stories about dating so much I hope he never finds love.” —Sam Greenspan, author of 11 Points Guide to Hooking Up   “Mark Miller’s anything-but-objective look at the dating scene is sweet, funny, and insightful.” —David Misch, screenwriter, teacher, and author of Funny: The Book: Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Comedy'
'“Mark is a very good friend and brilliant writer. He is like a brother to me. At first, I wrote that he is like a sister to me, but he seemed upset by that, so I revised it.” —Kevin Nealon, cast member of Saturday Night Live and Weeds   “Mark and I used to perform our stand-up acts at the same L.A. comedy clubs. He’d always tell me, ‘Michael, one day you'll be starring in a major, respected TV comedy show.’ And I’d always tell him, ‘Mark, one day you'’ll write a book about 500 women turning you down.’” —Michael Richards, cast member (Kramer) of Seinfeld   “I’ve appeared on hundreds of shows without making it big. Mark has dated hundreds of women without finding his soul mate. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one with elusive dreams. Plus, I laughed a lot while reading his book—much like his women must have reacted when he brought up the subject of a second date. Your pain is our entertainment, Mark.” —Fred Stoller, actor, comedian, and author of Maybe We'll Have You Back: The Life of a Perennial TV Guest Star   “This is the book I would have written—if I had the stomach to date 500 guys and then reveal all about those experiences. Kudos, Mark, and thanks for saving me the trouble!” —Annabelle Gurwitch, New York Times–bestselling author of I See You Made an Effort: Compliments, Indignities, and Survival Stories from the Edge of 50   “Mark Miller’s essays made me jealous that I’m happily married and not dating. Not because I could get laid a lot, but because I’d be writing funny essays like these.” —Joel Stein, Time columnist   “If there’s only one single book everyone should read about dating, this isn’t it. But this one is laugh out loud funny. I laughed my Yak-off!” —Yakov Smirnoff, comedian and professor of psychology at Missouri State University   “Mark Miller was always funny, way back when we were writing for the great Jimmie Walker, and has continued to be. Now in the world of online dating he has done it again! I’m sick of him being the funny one!” —Louie Anderson, comedian, actor, author, and Family Feud TV host   “I’ve dated hundreds of frogs. And none of them was Mark Miller. He’s not only a Prince—but a hilarious one at that. His book is a fun-filled bible of dating disasters, sure to make you laugh.” —Marilyn Anderson, Dating, Flirting and Kissing Coach on TV’s Extreme Makeover and author of Never Kiss a Frog: A Girl's Guide to Creatures from the DatingSwamp   “Any guy who’s had 500 dates must know what he’s talking about—or be in need of serious psychological care. Either way, you’ll enjoy Mark’s very funny and insightful book." —Robert S. Levinson, bestselling author of The Evil Deeds We Do and Finders, Keepers, Losers, Weepers   “I use humor to teach you how to speak successfully. Mark uses humor to teach you how to date successfully. Between the two of us, you can have a pretty humorous, romantic, outspoken life!” —Judy Carter, motivational humorist, communications expert, and bestselling author of The Comedy Bible and The Message of You   “As a publicist, I’ve represented hundreds of major celebrities. Mark Miller has dated hundreds of women. Perhaps we should combine our talents and start a dating service for celebrities. Until then, enjoy his very funny book about the highs and lows of romance, specifically his, in the 21st century.” —Michael Levine, acclaimed Hollywood publicist, bestselling author, and motivational speaker   “Bravo, Mark Miller, for not giving up on love. 500 dates later and he still has the cock-eyed optimism of a hormone-infused teenager!” —Marla Martenson, professional matchmaker, certified life and dating coach, and author of Hearts on the Line   “Some guys are funny on stage, some are funny on the page. Mark Miller is that rare breed who’s funny on both. Why he’s not making out like a bandit on the dating scene is beyond me—but thank God he’s not or we wouldn’t have this very entertaining account of what’s going on out there!” —Robert Masello, author of What Do Men Want from Women?, Robert’s Rules of Writing, and The Romanov Cross, and former columnist for Glamour, Cosmopolitan, and Elle   “I enjoy Mark Miller’s stories about dating so much I hope he never finds love.” —Sam Greenspan, author of 11 Points Guide to Hooking Up   “Mark Miller’s anything-but-objective look at the dating scene is sweet, funny, and insightful.” —David Misch, screenwriter, teacher, and author of Funny: The Book: Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Comedy'
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing ISBN: 9781629148489 Pages: 272